In the midst of our current world situation, I’ve been thinking about a lot about what I need to “get through” this, to endure this, to thrive, and to survive this plague. I’m not thinking so much of “what to do” as to how to be. What states do I need to invoke internally to thrive instead of merely existing?I started with the concept of endurance, and decided that I
There’s a lot of talk out there about the unrealistic expectations of romantic love. Comments about the juvenile hope that the most intense part of “true love” will last forever are ubiquitous on blogs and in print. Columnists decry the idea that we could ever be taken care of the way that we were as infants, and claim that it is this infantile need to feel the center of someone’s
What is the nature of identity? We have so many parts of our identities, but those we talk about, and those we feel strongly about, can shift and change in a healthy person. Some we will keep for a lifetime: “I’m a quilter.” “I’m a cop.” “I’m a feminist.” “I’m a Democrat.” If you know us, you’re will often know those things about us pretty quickly, because we consider them
Those who understand sexual orientation in deeper ways tend to talk about it as a fluid state throughout the lifetime, with people falling into points on a spectrum—some remain fairly consistently attracted to one sex or another throughout life, but many people find that their orientation shifts about as they age, whether or not their behavior follows suit. I have been wondering the same about kink (BDSM). My first observation is
Don’t ever ask me to trust you, it will set off my radar. It’s been my experience that when someone says, “Trust me!”, they are too often not very trustworthy. Even if they happen to be, though, the request is poorly worded. It’s impossible to trust someone instantly. What IS possible, however, is an instant risk, and knowing the difference between the two is a measure of our emotional intelligence.In
I am the founder and director of the Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment (ISEE), a professional training program for educators, counselors, and therapists. The vast majority of the people who come to our program are professional psychotherapists who wish to have advanced knowledge of sexual problems so that they are well-trained in their practice, and health and sex educators who wish to make sure that their information is well-rounded,