When Byron Katie first published “Loving What Is” in 2002, the book became an international phenomenon. Oprah endorsed it, everyone I knew was talking about it, and I found the approach an outstanding way to shake up my thinking.However Katie came to formulate the questions, they draw on older ideas: those of self-inquiry, which is part of philosophy; ideas that are reflected in narrative therapies, and the power of the
Fertile. Abundant. Producing or bearing fruit. I’m reading these in my etymology sources as I look up the roots of the word fertility, and I’m having a number of reactions. Easter, from the Old pagan Oestar, came from a fertility festival (thus, the bunnies.) Sounds great! Sounds sexy! So why am I conflicted? Probably because I saw the word productive and felt vaguely nauseated. I am tired of the Western
In the years from 2018 through 2022, I dealt with a tremendous amount of grief. Among other losses, a some-time partner and long-time friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer in late 2020. I spent a year flying back and forth from Arizona to Florida during the worst of the pandemic to be of what help I could and to spend time with him. Strangely, I know I will remember it
Over and over again in the past couple of years I have been struck by the thought that if our culture were a marriage, we would be in the midst of divorce proceedings right now. This isn’t a new idea, there are plenty of others who have commented on it, but as a person trained in marriage and family therapy, my perspective is a little different. As an MFT there
In the midst of our current world situation, I’ve been thinking about a lot about what I need to “get through” this, to endure this, to thrive, and to survive this plague. I’m not thinking so much of “what to do” as to how to be. What states do I need to invoke internally to thrive instead of merely existing?I started with the concept of endurance, and decided that I
What is the nature of identity? We have so many parts of our identities, but those we talk about, and those we feel strongly about, can shift and change in a healthy person. Some we will keep for a lifetime: “I’m a quilter.” “I’m a cop.” “I’m a feminist.” “I’m a Democrat.” If you know us, you’re will often know those things about us pretty quickly, because we consider them