Fertile. Abundant. Producing or bearing fruit. I’m reading these in my etymology sources as I look up the roots of the word fertility, and I’m having a number of reactions. Easter, from the Old pagan Oestar, came from a fertility festival (thus, the bunnies.) Sounds great! Sounds sexy! So why am I conflicted? Probably because I saw the word productive and felt vaguely nauseated. I am tired of the Western

Fertili-Tree: on natural productivity

A long time ago, I was introduced to the phrase, “The good is the enemy of the best,” and I thought it was brilliant. I was opposed, as many of us are, to “settling”, to the idea that anything but the very best was something to be striven for. Research, it turns out, has other ideas. Striving for the best may get us a better job, or a better house.

The Best is the Enemy of the Good

Yesterday I had my annual mammogram. I was 9 months overdue.  To my chagrin I realized it’s because I’ve started to have a trauma response when I go. It’s not from past abuse…at least not from who you may think. It’s from the procedure itself.I’m no baby. I was disabled with a herniated disc for a year in 2015-2016, and I overheard my doctor telling my partner that I was

Alternatives to Painful Mammograms?

A Sexual Attitude Reassessment is a workshop that introduces you to a variety of sexual behaviors, orientations and identities. It's purpose is to investigate our own attitudes, positive and negative biases, and reactions for self-knowledge as well as professional conduct. SAR is always taught live, either streaming or in person. By examining our attitudes, values, and emotions, we can be better equipped as educators, counselors, clinicians and therapists to serve

What is SAR (Sexual Attitude Reassessment)?

In the years from 2018 through 2022, I dealt with a tremendous amount of grief. Among other losses, a some-time partner and long-time friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer in late 2020. I spent a year flying back and forth from Arizona to Florida during the worst of the pandemic to be of what help I could and to spend time with him. Strangely, I know I will remember it

Eroticism and Grief

As the situation that is 2023 rages on, I think to myself, “This is what a digital civil war looks like.”Of course the war is not all digital. It has made its way into churches, mosques, schools, malls, nightclubs…even the nation’s Capitol. The reality of war has been present with us for several years, but it has perhaps not registered that way. We think of war as armies and guns

How War is Like Peace